don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
