I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
