I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
