Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
babies were throwing up all over the place
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
