i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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