it wasn't lemon gatorade
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
