Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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