My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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