How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
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I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
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Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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