in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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