She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
