Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
