what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
