im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
is wine microwaveable?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
