how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
