I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
