Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm way too hungover for life right now
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
