i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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