how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
