WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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