College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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