she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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