what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
