Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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