I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
