You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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