I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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