My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
