when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My life is pants optional.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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