Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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