If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
