Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
