This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
