nutella sex= disaster
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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