how can u be prego again
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
