do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
