if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
