So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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