That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
