he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
