it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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