Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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