At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
