True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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