I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
