Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize