well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
