This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
