fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
