Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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