If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
