no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
