My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
