Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
