OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
tell me about the eggs
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
