I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize