Apparently you make a good broom.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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