I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
