dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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