Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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