Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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