I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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