So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
