Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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