Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
