So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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