the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
